Beware the angst

life

2006-09-11T16:43:23Z

for the most part i havent liked my life..... however in light of that ive decided today that im going to live to at least 125 after my 125th im going to start taking bets on how long after that im going to live

A brief interlude

2006-09-09T01:23:44Z

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BUNNY!BUNNY!BUNNY!HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

....oww

...end of line

wow its dusty in here

2006-07-15T06:50:46Z

does anyone still read this?

Moving

2004-08-03T00:26:45Z

So im giving up on the navy. So im moving to plan B *dum dum dum* im in austin right now looking for a job. As soon as that happens im going to be her perm and after a bit im going to start gaming in sm again weee! i have 2 interviews tommorrow and i already have a car lined up and ceel phone waiting for me to get a job and im already talking to some neat grrls weee!

-Puck

oooo

2004-08-03T00:22:10Z

Category VI - The Strange
Attractor

Though you're not quite sure why, people are drawn
to you like moths to a flame. You really
are too cool for words.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

death and living on

2004-07-22T01:30:50Z

I'm not an open book. As anyone who has known me for any length of time and actually took the time to try and see what i have lurking inside will know. I tell most people exactly what i want to them to hear or what i think they want to hear. There are those few that i actually care about who know more than most but they still dont know much. I really dont know if this is a good idea or if its healthy.

That being said, I'm fucking depressed. But im at a really odd part of my depression. I think i actually prefer all out crying blackness to this. My outward mood while not totally happy dosent seem all that bad. However i dont want to do ANYTHING. They only reason i go to work is cause i cant buy smokes if i dont. Other than that the only things i want to do are sleep and read maybe play a video game or two. I'm really just going through the motions. This really isnt fair to my gf she is having kind of a rough time too and i really cant bring myself to do anything but sit at home. before jay died i saw her all the time but i havent seen her since the funeral.

Hopefully this will pass soon and ill be back to me but i dont know.

-Puck

god is a sadistic son of a bitch

2004-07-17T05:18:52Z

last tuesday one of my oldest friends Jay Reasons died. A few weeks before he was fucked up and fell down a flight of stairs. he was in the hospital forr a few weeks before they decided to operate. I never got to see him before he died. He was only 22 yrs old. i have no idea how to deal with this. he was a child he had his whole life ahead of him and now he is gone. How does one cope with the fact tht someone you were close to isnt going to be there any more. I've had people die before, but this is different Jay was my friend we had been friends since i was like 16. How do i deal with the fact that ill never see him again. Right now im kinda numb i was crying and then i was pissed then i cried somemore. But now i just am lost. Tommorrow i have to go watch them put one of my only friends in the ground. I dont understand how could a supposed loveing god let a kid who had his whole life in front of him just die like that i mean realy what the fuck.. im done now bye

letter to god

2004-06-16T08:44:59Z

Dear God,
I relly dont think its funny anymore asshole

-Puck

perfect woman

2004-06-15T09:51:07Z

A girl who can be your slut in the bed room and your best friend out side of it. God has a sence of humor and i think its funny. who are you to tell me its a bad idea ill go to vegas if i want to. And she is comming with me. When i come back she will be mine.

-Puck

stalker!

2004-06-13T11:24:34Z

Darthpuck's LJ stalker is sweetartsed!

sweetartsed is stalking you because another friend of yours told them you liked them. They are also getting jiggy with your best friend!

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

So yeah ive been piening over a woman who no longer exists (if she ever really did in the first place.) and i met a grrl today who blew me out of the water. she is super smart and cute as hell (persona wise) sexually we are into the same thing (no i didnt fuk her the first day i met her) she is into video games and alot o the other same shit i am. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF she is super hot im mean wow hot.
Ive been doing alot of thinking about my behevior over the last while and i really wish i could go back and say i am sorry to all those grrls i used to fuk away the distorted memory of a woman whom i built up to hights she never really reached. (love is a cruel thing like that)
Now im not saying every woman ive had sex with was in this catagory (so dont think im talking about you) but yeah alot of women are ive broken a few hearts in my time and that isnt fair at all. but whats past is past and those who do fall into this catagory would prolly rather i didnt tell them this.

On a lighter note i got a luck charm from a cpl o friends o mine (thanks guys yall r great beyond compair) and i really like it i think im going to take it with me everywhere. cause i really think my luck is doing rather well. (knock wood)

Still not in the military and it is looking like it is yet another thing in my life that if i really want it i am going to have to prove it to the powers that be by putting my head down and going for it and not letting anything stop me.

I really like monkeys did i ever tell you that?

-Puck

summer

2004-06-12T06:12:36Z

So its summer time im still not any closer to being in the navy. I had to get a real job today. And im fucking sick of it if i wasnt so fucking stubborn i would have just said fuck it by now. I am screwwed up lonely bored and aggrevrated. but x is fun i really like that drug alot.

there and back again one geeks tale

2004-05-17T04:13:13Z

So hmm where was i last time i wrote in here.... i have no clue.

So i went to okc to visit megan and that didnt go exactly as planned but it was ok. I got back and there was a message on my machine from this guy bob i sometimes work for asking me if i wanted to go out of town and work.

So i said what the hell i got nothing better to do. So off i go, First i had to drive to ohio that took a few days. Ohio was ok i got to go to this place called kings island. Its a paramont theme park. Expensive as hell but as far as theme parks go it was ok. Then we went to maryland to pick up another guy who works with us. That was uneventfull.

After that we went to new jersy While we were working one night i was looking out the window and i see these two people park in the empty parking lot so im like hmm thats odd then i see the grrl start taking off her clothes and im all O_O then they start going at it im like whooo hoo That was about the only exciting thing that happend there.

All this time im working with a speed freak with a major temper problem. The guy is fucking nuts he expects me to know how to do all this shit that ive never done before that he hasnt even told me anything about. So then we go to virgina and that was shitty as far as the work went but i went out and partied with some navy guys in norfolk that was fun and i learned alot about navy life. Then we went to florida.......

WARNING THIS NEXT PART MIGHT OFFEND YOU. If you dont want to know about my mad sex oddessyeys then Scroll past it

ADULT CONTENT.

So we went to florida and were working we finally got a cpl days off for the first time in like 2 weeks. Nolan, one of the guys i work with had a friend there who invited us to this place called eddie fish bowls. He also invited a few of the girls who he works with. So we get there and i get a fish bowl This drink is 20 bucks for one but damn its worth it you only need one and your gone. So i had one all to my self thats like 80 ounces of good times and we r all singing and joking and flirting adn i made out with all the grrls that came with us it was fucking nice. So the bar closes and we r all like what now. So with a gleam in my eye i suggest an orgy. Oddly enuf every one was down so we head back to the hotel. Omg that was awsome i will spare you guys all the details but needless to say it was really great. A brief rundown would go something like this every one had sex with everyone the only gay parts were one of the grrls had her first lezzie experence. That was fun to watch.

END ADULT CONTENT

So after that it was work and work till i had to leave cause my dad was shipping off to iraq. So i had to fly back to houston.

So unless im actually in a relationship i dont talk much about my love life cause it gets crazy. But it seems its important that i share things that i normally dont so i will.

Last summer I dated this grrl. While all our friends said it was a bad idea all around for us to get together we did anyway. It was fun and she is great. As usuall when i start having feelings for someone i fuck it up. And i did i fucked it up roaly. Now summer is back and i saw her again. So things r really confused she is in a wierd place and as i usual so am i. While id like to try again with her i dont know if it such a god idea cause i really like this grrl but i dont know if we are a good idea cause im trying to get into the navy and she dosent live here all the time so it makes things akward. On the one hand if i dont get into the navy im most likely moving back to austin and going to school. Which is where she lives and if that happend things could work but i dont know what my future holds so i dont know if it is fair to go into that knowing at any time i might get into the navy and go away for a long time. So you can see my delima, Whats a guy to do? Cause i really do like her and could have alot o fun but do i choose that over the possibility of hurting her? i just dont know.

But wow this is a long post but oh well sometimes u have to have long posts so this is me signing off later folks.

Hey

2004-03-16T07:17:59Z

Hey how goes it true believers so yeah my life has been a huge mess
I dropped out of school cause i couldnt afford it then i moved to austin and moed in with some people i shouldnt have that was no fun. Then i totaled my truck on my way to a job interview. So i couldnt find a job cause i had no car and the grrl didnt have insurance. so i putz around for a while and i get a job offer here in houston. so i come down to houston for a week and work 14 hr days for 8 days str8. then i got off and now im out of money cause i had to pay off my warrent. So i was toying with the idea of joining the military and after i lost my truck i decided it was the best idea.

For years ive been trying to live a semi normal life and kind of conform to what you are supposed to do. well ive decided that i have been trying that for too long now and it is time to take a new direction and that is what im doing with the military.

If everything goes like it is supposed to ill end up overseas meeting the kind of people you cant meet in small or large texas towns and doing things people would never have thought i could or would do. The thought of this makes me very happy. I really want to see other places and experience things your average computer geek wont experience.

Now dont worry your faithfull puck will continue to write here from time to time and tel you folks whats up. Im trying to get ahold of a laptop so if anyone knows anyone that wants to give one away or sell it for really cheap let me know. Cause i cant take my desktop with me till i get a permanent station cause she is just too big i love her and she is pretty and powerfull but just too much woman for me to take with me where im going.

This is one of the longer posts ive put here but hey its my journal and ill ramble if i want to. hmm what else to talk about. Im not telling you about my various durnken/sober sexual escapades cause that aint none o ya business. but ill just say puck is a happy puck at the moment.

ok well im going to stop now so bye bye

oh and megs i luv ya hun and no matter how far ur always going to be one o my islands o sanity.

darthpuck @ 2004-02-26T18:47:00

2004-02-27T00:46:46Z

Well I'm heading out to Houston tonight going to do a job there should be back around in a few weeks yay money

darthpuck @ 2004-02-23T23:55:00

2004-02-24T05:55:20Z

So it seems my plans are going to change again. It would seem that the gods are against me staying in Austin I mean one fucking thing after another. So I'm thinking once I get this shit with the ins company settled I'm going to rent a truck and just drive to Houston. The way I figure it I can just use my sign on bonus to get a new car. This way I no longer have to live on ramen and beg my roommates for smokes I'm getting really tired of this shit man. Do I just bitch too much? I mean really is this kind of shit normal for everyone and I just don't see it or what? cause I swear I'm cursed and I've dated enough witches to think maybe I pissed off the wrong one. who knows mang

darthpuck @ 2004-02-18T16:30:00

2004-02-18T22:30:41Z

So stina just called and we broke up -_- yeah but it was ok mostly we just didn't really fit to well. This time there wasn't a bunch o drama and screaming and such so that was good. I'm not really too sad about it tho I mean I was thinking about the same thing cause like I said she is a really neat girl and shit but we didn't really fit. Oh well ill live to see another. and as some movie said " Let the crazy sex odyssey begin" funny how these things happen in threes first I lose my car then I don't get that bad ass job then me and stina break up... oh well

darthpuck @ 2004-02-18T12:34:00

2004-02-18T18:34:31Z

Your Candy Heart is "Fuck Me"

When people say V-day is romantic, they're not wrong.

It's just that you're idea of romance is doing it all night long.

So screw the dinner, the cards, and the roses.

You'll show love by doing it in many poses.

What Naughty Candy Heart Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

YAY FIRE

Your element is Fire. Wild and free. Your emotions
lead you everywhere. You are a very passionate
person, though sometimes forceful and
destructive you have a goal in life, even if
that goal is just to make it another day. Fire
consumes and purifys, it also protects. There
is always caution with fire because once it is
started on something there is no telling how
much it can destroy. Fire people have the same
tendency when mad you could be a candle burning
but if someone tips you over...

What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla

AQUA

You enjoy life, humor, and being exuberant. Wherever you go you usually find yourself stealing the spotlight without even trying. You love to let go and have fun.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

darthpuck @ 2004-02-16T10:00:00

2004-02-16T16:00:39Z

So I was on my way to my interview today and instead of dazzling them with my charm and smarts I totaled my truck 3 blocks from my house weeeeeee fun shit

darthpuck @ 2004-02-16T07:18:00

2004-02-16T13:18:48Z

I gots me a job interview today in about an hour! Weeee yeah so I have nothing to do but sit here and wait. The stupid cats woke me up like 2 hours early grrr. But yeah wish me luck^_^.

darthpuck @ 2004-02-06T05:07:00

2004-02-06T11:07:45Z

Hey folks look at me updating on a semi regular basis woot go me. So news old and new good and bad and indifferent. Me and Alex talked things out and I tried to set her str8 on the lies she was told. No we are not going to get back together we r just a round peg square hole couple. (i.e. we don't fit together fucking perverts) but yeah its good to know that she isn't hurting any more cause I really don't like to see people I care about hurting. I mean if I had done al those thing she accused me of it would be one thing but I really didn't so yeah.

So different news: beep beep beep (news flash noise fuck you)
So I didn't move to Houston like I planned sorry for not telling sooner. I'm living with some of my friends here in Austin and living the good life. If any o U folks reading o this know where I can find a job that would be neat cause I really need one cause I want to get into the air force and if I don't pay off my warrant I cant.

So I'm dating again ^_^
Story time ^_^
So I come to Austin to stay with my friends and I meet this friend o one o my roommates we will call her C. Any way so we all get drunk to drink away Alexis among other things. And we start talking and I think hey this grrl is really neat but really didn't think any further cause lex was still a lil too fresh. So a few weeks go by and she keeps coming over and we al hang out and its fun.
Then we take her to one o my now infamous parties..... Later in the night after we had a few in us she told me she needed to talk to me. I thought it was something about S our friend so we go into a back room where we can hear each other and we make small talk then she tells me that she likes me and that she wants to date me. needless to say I'm a little shocked I'm all O_O and so I thought about it and said ok sure why not U seem really cool and quite a bit different than my past girls. So we started dating and so far it has been really neat

darthpuck @ 2004-01-30T10:11:00

2004-01-30T16:11:16Z

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

And that is really funny cause all but one o the people i know who have taken this got the same thing

heh i have wings

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

departures and new beginnings

2004-01-26T11:41:13Z

Hey there folks for those of you whom i didnt tell and there fore shouldnt know ive been hiding out in austin for the last.....week and a half? something like that... any way yeah so im leaving tommorrow to go back to houston but fear not sometime in the near future i will return to say hi and get trashed ect but yeah also for those of you who dont know im going into the air force reserves about a month after i get to houston so that should be fun im gonna come back all buff and sexy weeee but yeah then im not sure what im doing i have a bunch o offers one to come up to austin and live another to move to galveston and a few others to move to different states so i really dont know where im going from here but i know it is going to be great and a new exciting adventure and that is really something that apeals to me right now adventure i want to have fun and open my eyes. I am really going to miss my friends in san marcos but im not going to miss the drama that would ensue should i return there for any length of time so im just going to stay out ill prolly visit but that is in the future for now im going to kinna live in the moment and keep my few real goals in sight and see how that carries me cause im really tired of worrying my self into ulcers. i know few people think that i dont worry about shit and that i am thoughtless in my actions and i will grant them that some times i do act on impulse but that does not mean that all my actions are impusle even the ones that seem that way alot of my seeming implusive decisions are actualy well thought out decisions that i just dont talk about so yeah im going to end this now it is a bit long so so long to my firends in austin ill be back soon i swear. And to my friends in houston ill see u soon and to my friends in san marcos sorry guys but ill try and visit and to the other people in san marcos bye i hope you have a nice life but i dont want to be a part of it so please leave me alone

Newness

2004-01-19T09:28:21Z

So for those of you who dont know i've dropped out of school. Now before you freak out no this isnt perm. I'm simply stepping back to take stock and see where i want to go. No im not going back to san marcos im tired of sm and while it is a decent school and i have alot of really good friends there whom ill miss alot i think this is what is needed for me to move on. So ill be back in houston in a few days and after that who knows. but much love to all my peeps and if you want to get in touch with me you should e mail me because im not really going to be contactable anyother way but use my yahoo account cause im sure my txstate account is going to be cut off but yeah so see you when i see you.

darthpuck @ 2003-12-17T22:43:00

2003-12-18T04:44:41Z

HOW U DOIN!
So it seems that me and lex are having issues again. It sux cause she is in Houston and I'm still in San Marcos till Sunday. I miss her soooooo much its fucking creepy. She is the most amazing woman I've ever met. I mean yea she has her issues but so do I. U know what it really dosent matter cause I love the girl and I'm willing to do just about anything it takes to stay with her.

darthpuck @ 2003-11-07T00:01:00

2003-11-07T06:03:21Z

So yeah its been an interesting time I have an oral exam tomorrow. on the women side o things been very interesting makin me feel scary things but yeah I'm done